The above picture was taken when Ben was first born. There were alot of emotions that I did not understand at the time, and many others I will not understand for longer still. Featured in the picture is my father, Philip Anderson Sr. My brother is the junior, not me. On that day, I didn't know what being a father meant. My dad helped raise 3 boys, so he kinda understood a little about how it worked.
That being said, tomorrow me and Sara leave for Atlanta with some of the youth from CrossPointe. We are going for street and food mission ministry, and also see a Braves game and go to a water park. I am pumped. More pumped than I have been in a long time about anything actually. This is an opportunity for me to really engage with some of the younger people in church. Here's the crux. We are leaving Ben behind. This is for several reasons: we don't want our attention drawn away from the work of ministry, from the students who need our attention, and in public my son can be a handful; albeit a cute handful, but a handful nontheless.
Tomorrow morning there will be weeping, and I don't mean cute weeping. We love that kid and he loves us. It's going to be tough to part for 4 days. Non-parents won't get this, and I really didn't until it was time to go through with it. Being separated from your child is hard. Whether it's a willful separation or not, distance causes an ache in the heart.
I thought about God when I began to process leaving Ben at home. God is my heavenly father. Since birth, I have been separated from Him because of sin.
For 13 years I was away from my Father... I'm going to be away for 4 days from Ben and it stresses me out. For 13 years my Father in heaven has been waiting on me to come home. In the prodigal son, the dad wasn't sitting at the kitchen table rubbing his palms together saying, "Yeah, that old sorry son of mine will come crawling back here one day." He was anticipating his son's return, waiting at the porch, searching the horizon for a glimpse of a familiar face, or the stride of his son's steps. God is often taken to be heartless, cruel, and cold towards us. Scripture doesn't show me that. Scripture shows me that God is eagerly awaiting our return to Him. He is the good father that misses His children and wants to be in communion with them.
Tomorrow I am leaving my son behind in Laurel out of a desire to move in the direction God has called me to. It is tough, but I think about God who waits patiently for some to come to Him that may never. How heart wrenching is that thought?
If you are a believer, rest assured that your HEAVENLY father is good, that He loves you, and that like the father from Luke 15, he waited on us anticipating the day that we would return to Him. We say God loves you, but the love of the Father is absolutely above full comprehension. All we can do is receive His grace, obey His words, and live by faith. I think that's what any good father would hope from their son.
No comments:
Post a Comment