Today's post is long... but worth it.
Vacation was this past week. As I am typing, we are finishing up the pile of laundry produced after a few days away from home. How do three people wear so many clothes? Anyway, I have been on a bit of a journey the past couple of months. It's one of those times that God teaches you great things but during the process you want to say, "Please just let me off at the next exit."
Towards the end of this past school year, I was non-renewed for a contract at my school. This simply means that my contract wasn't terminated (fired), but that I would not be offered a new contract for the upcoming year. Tough thing to deal with. I had planned on looking for a position closer to home, but not exactly with this sort of motivation. Needless to say, I've been on the hunt.
Until this past week, the job search hasn't been fruitful. To be honest, in an economy like we have, employers are only hiring their exact ideal, not taking chances. Me, being a second year teacher, am kind of still a chance. There have been worries, fears, insecurities, doubts, and freakouts. Overall, I know and understand that God will provide. That I have never doubted and referred to in my last post. But there is a tangible fear that humanity throws in our face: bills, wife, child, food, shelter, transportation, health.
These things have weighed on my mind, heavily. My heart has been burdened by what to do. Wednesday morning, I loaded up my family, along with Sara's cousin and her family (who I claim as family just as much as she does), and we headed out to Gulf Shores for a couple of days away. My mantra for this trip may have been Hakuna Matata, but was more like; God will provide, quit worrying. So I did.
The picture at the top of this post is of my son, Ben, holding his bottle and looking at the ocean from the balcony. Can I tell you that in that moment, being there with my family was all there was. There were no non-renewal letters, interviews, refusal letters, empty promises, dodgy phone conversations, or any of the like.
I knew, really knew, that God was going to take care of me. Not just me, but also those he entrusted me to take care of, namely Sara and Ben. *Soapbox: Get that guys (if any guys read this). Your primary responsibility as a husband or father (future or present), isn't to make it big at the office, to strike it rich in your career, to have the best toys, to hang with the boys, make alot of noise, and I'm out of rhymes for that. But your charge is to take care of those entrusted to you; mainly spiritually, emotionally, and physically. There is a balance here. Don't pawn it off on pastors to take care of their spirit or psychologists to take care of their emotions, because that is your job. Ramble tangent....
After my epiphany, we settled down and went to sleep. The next day, and watch this, I got an interview for a job and another small-time side job, all in one day. That may not sound like much to most, but it's definitely on the up and up. God had to bring me to a place of full faith in him before he would let me see just a smidge of what he has planned. More and more I see his faithfulness in my life, and more and more I realize just how small of a man I really am.
If you are in a place of limbo right now, in between jobs, relationships, life situations, whatever, begin to seek God, not really seeking your job title in Leviticus 2:9 (dummy reference), but to seek who God is. He will not fail when you seek Him. Just don't put a timer on God, He's been around a while and His plans are typically better than yours.
I MUST DECREASE, HE MUST INCREASE.
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