I NO LONGER BELIEVE IN THE MOMENT OF WEAKNESS

          There are times that I will try to adopt a new way of thinking. Typically it is not a spiritual conviction so much as a social inclination for popularity or coolness. For a while I thought I would look great if I just bought v-neck shirts and wore them exclusively. Farther back I thought that only wearing Converse shoes would make me different. Even farther still, I believed that my eclectic taste in literature would set me apart. All these things are live-and-learn situations. No, my book taste doesn't matter, no Converse didn't make me cooler, and no, v-neck shirts do not make me look great.
          But there are also times in which this funny thing happens that people call epiphanies or revelations. While driving to work this morning, I had one of those. In a moment of confession I realized; there is no such thing as a moment of weakness. This phrasing is used extensively to describe when men slip off their wedding bands after having a few drinks, or when a girl says yes when she should say no, or when we indulge in drink and food to the point of being miserable.
          I no longer believe in this phenomena for one main reason: these "moments" are not isolated vignettes in life, but merely the pinnacle, or better yet, the ravine that we ourselves have been climbing into. I firmly believe that the out-of-control lifestyles and the face-first-in-the-mud moments take time to happen. You don't just wake up one day and decide to cheat on your wife. You don't just snap and start shooting people. There is a chain of events in each case that lead up to that "moment". For example. As a man there are many temptations around that deal with my pride. Some of these are sexual, some of them are not. But any of them that are allowed an audience in my mind or heart will begin to chip away at my resolve, little by little, piece by piece until the day when I no longer have a resistance to that and give in.
          The enemy understands that the battleground for our spirit is not going to be quick; otherwise he would voraciously attack until we gave in. 1 peter 5:8 says that he roams, seeking those whom he would devour. We think Satan is dumb; he isn't. One of his tactics is to slowly take away what we call our witness until what is left is a shell of a person who has no strength left to fight and therefore exits the battle.
          We are quick to point at someone and say, "How in the world could they have done such a thing?" when we really have no idea what they have gone through. My perception of others is focused through my lens, my understandings, my backgrounds, my convictions, my quirks and traits. Your lens may have different filters and so might the next guy. Just remember that the "moment of weakness" isn't just one moment, but several events and possibly a lifetime of being slowly worn down to the point of breaking.
          Think about Jesus in the wilderness. Satan didn't quickly attack and leave, he worked on Jesus for 40 days and nights. What resolve Jesus had! What strength he showed! What an example he left for us! What hope he shares with us! If you've fallen as a result of life, or whatever, know there is hope, know there is forgiveness, know there is strength to be found in connection with the Holy Spirit.
         

[insert idol here]

          I'm going to admit this. Today, on my way home from school, Justin Beiber came on the radio. His new song is I believe called, "As Long As You Love Me". It's pretty typical of a poppy love song, catchy tune and lyrics. I am not sure whether it was in a burst of depression that I was listening to this with my windows rolled down, or that I had a sort of epiphany, but my mind jumped to a very solid thought; we all worship.
          Christians do it differently than Muslims, Jews do it differently than Buddhists, Sikhs do it differently than Jehovah's Witness, and Mormons do it differently than Atheists. Yep, even those who don't believe in a god worship. Man has, at the center of his being/heart/spirit/central nervous system, the longing to fixate on something. For some it is "love" in the Justin Beiber sense. For others it's the allure of pleasure; whether it be sex, drugs, or alcohol. For others still it's the draw of power, of fame, of glory.
          Most people won't call it worship because that is a sacrilegious way to think of things. But take the concept of worship and just replace God with your particular thing. I give my money to _____, I spend my time with/for ____, I love ____. Take most love songs, remove the sexual tension from the music, and replace the words focused for a man or woman with God or Jesus and you have a worship song. We worship one another, we worship fame, wealth, health, pleasure, and some even worship pain.
          We are all worshipers, designed to fixate on our Creator in our heart of hearts, giving Him all the glory, all the praise, all the songs, all of us. But being broken at the garden, our hearts have that perpetually discussed vacuum that attempts to force a square peg into a round hole; it just doesn't fit and can't fill the void. I go beyond the design concept in that some stop at gender and roles when thinking about God creating us. He also created hearts that burn to know Him. Our hearts have been tainted by the world, all the while being drawn away from the loving God that created us. We set out in a desert of hopelessness trying to accomplish something ourselves that we could never do.
          But there is hope. The hope that lies within Jesus. We can become those true worshipers we were meant to be through the salvation of Jesus. We all worship, we all praise, we all tithe, we all give. The condition of our hearts decide if a lifeless idol with deaf ears and blind eyes receives our offering, or the God who designed our hearts to worship in the first place.

BLUE LIKE JAZZ:MOVIE

          I assure any readers that this blog is not turning into a movie review. It's just that recently the movies I have watched have rung true to things happening in my life or in the world around me. A recent incarnation of the book, Blue Like Jazz, into a movie has caused me to scratch my head and think. I've read the book, but it has been a while. I've watched the movie, it's been about 30 minutes. There are a few things that I noticed throughout the movie that were very interesting.
*If you plan on watching the movie, there may be spoilers below.
           Donny, the main character, has moved to Reed College to escape life in Texas. Many who grow up in small towns wish to "escape" the environment they have always been in. There are many wild nights for Donny as he begins his freshman year, but one person he meets is unique; her name is Penny and she persuades him to not drink the water. In the first picture above, where the two characters are near a gravestone, Donny begins to seek answers about Penny's life. We get this little vignette into Penny's life that later turns into the point at which Penny is able to open up about herself for the first time. Honestly, the more Donny learns about Penny, the more Donny shuts his own life and history down. Most of the movie is Donny's journey from clean-cut Southern Baptist, to shabby liberal college attendee. Donny loses himself for much of the movie but Penny's convictions seem to shake something awake in Donny that had lain dormant for a while.
          Towards the end, Donny takes the throne as the new "pope" of Reed College, meaning he headed up the anti-religious movement on campus. Also at a festival held each year, the pope would take confession from students for their sins and forgive them. Totally sacreligious I know, but Donny's recent jolt back into his faith leads him to put a spin on the tradition.
          As the pope, he welcomes the first confessor into the confessional, the former "pope". Donny had picked up that this guy had been molested as a child by a priest, therefore his hatred of all things religious. Donny apologizes for all the bad stuff that happened to him, and then proceeds to apologize for how he didn't represent Jesus well. The movie ends with a new confessor entering the booth and saying,"I have a confession", to which Donny replies,"No, let me go first."

Spoilers end
          I believe there are many great ideas in this movie. One being that when our faith is placed in and around the company of nonbelievers or atheists, there are definite challenges. Don't ever overestimate how strong you are. We are influenced in big and small ways, most of the times the little things pile up and knock us over and we are left wondering what happened. The second thing is that I think we should be more open and honest about our sin. Too many people see Christians as perfectionists and not followers. We are seen as "whitewashed tombs" as Jesus stated. Our outsides look  slightly different than the nonbeliever, but our insides are no different. Yet we try to hide this, WHY? God is working on us to the end, as Paul says in Philippians. We have faults, shortcomings, and mishaps just like everyone else. We repent, God forgives, and we continue to ask the Spirit to refine and shape us into the image of Christ.
          I enjoyed this movie and feel that some who would not normally watch a movie like Courageous, or Facing the Giants, or Veggie Tales, or whatever the newest Christian flick is, would watch Blue Like Jazz because it's relatable to the culture of today. For us to make a difference, we have to own up to some of our crazy. We have to deal with the tough issues from a biblical, not a visceral, point of view. We have to reach out the hand of mercy and grace to those who are seeking it through the questions they ask, the debates they get entangled in, and the viewpoints they hold.

NEW TIME AT EJE

          With school being in for about two weeks now, I want to share about how it has been. First, I have been shocked daily with how good kids are, how discipline actually works, and how positive a school environment can be. I am at East Jones Elementary School working as a special education assistant. This is one of the most rewarding jobs I have ever done. Each time I sit with a child, I get to challenge them and see them rise to the challenge. There is something in that when you are able to invest in someone and to see a return. My presence has a dual purpose; I am mainly there to educate students, but I am also there to live as an example. You see, alot of kids, no matter what district, do not come from homes that are supportive, loving, or represent Christ well. 

          I've known this for a long time, but it is really apparent when you get to work and listen to the kids themselves. They have an honesty that is unparalleled, sometimes wonderfully refreshing, sometimes frightfully revealing. There are many Scriptures that deal with children and I must say that the implications for investing in children are huge. Jesus speaks about mistreating and misguiding children and the Proverbs speak about training children up in the knowledge of God. 

          Society devalues the role of the teacher. I'm a parent and a teacher, and I know that nothing can replace the role of the parent for a child, but when the parent isn't a good model, the child needs someone to look up to. My wife has been teaching for 4 years and the students that remember her best are the ones she used to get onto the most. They needed her motherly way to guide and direct them. She genuinely cares about her students, pushes them to succeed, and corrects them when they step out of line. Some she works on more than others, and those students will remember her forever. Teachers have a huge impact on students and are necessary as societal figures.

          This is part of the reason that the issue with the Jones County board of supervisors bothers me so much. Each person that is employed by the district plays a key role; whether it be custodian, bus driver, principal, assistant, counselor, secretary, or regular ed teacher. There are future (fill in the blank) in each and every classroom. Children have the most potential out of anything in this world. They are moldable and teachable. This is why Scripture tells us to, "train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." If we let them know how important faith in Jesus is, then they will pick up on it to. 

          I am honored to be doing what I do. If you have children, or if you don't have children, be active in some child's life. They need you desperately to show them a godly example for living. 

          I recall an old song, "be careful little eyes what you see... be careful little ears what you hear." It's not fair to warn children of the danger of adults. If anything, that song is cautionary for those who spend time in education. A child will absorb alot of what you say and how you feel about things. Even if you aren't in education, you can touch the life of a child. One of my big prayers this year is to make an impact on the students that I have been entrusted with. If that is what I accomplish, then I do believe I have done right. Push beyond a social interaction with students to something more. Show them you care. 

WE BOUGHT A ZOO

          Do you ever watch a movie or read a book and then begin to notice those elements everywhere? No. Just me? I went to a Centrifuge camp as a middle schooler and remember the drama team using the word conglomerate in a game. I had never heard this word before and just assumed I would never hear it again. But the funny thing was, when I got home, this word began to pop up everywhere. Did the stars align and this word become popular? Nope. But I did start to notice the word alot more.

          I recently finished reading Wild at Heart, which is a great book on biblical masculinity, and the main ideas and themes are still vivid in my mind. Tuesday we rented We Bought A Zoo, and Friday night we sat down to watch it. What a great movie! I was drawn in and kept there through the whole film. But I'm not here to do a movie review. I'm here to connect the book I just finished to the movie I just watched. I feel as though God works that way sometimes.

          In WBAZ, the father and son are at odds. The father can't figure it out and they get into it one night. There is about 5 minutes of yelling and screaming at one another, and then they go to bed. The next day, the son approaches the father, they have a heart to heart, and their relationship completely changes. The son goes from dark and depressed to caring and passionate. What happened there?

          If you aren't careful, you will missed what they slipped into the movie. The father had neglected the son for so long, there was alot of pent up frustrations on both sides. The son's hurts needed to be recognized by his father, and the father needed to let his son know that he cared. Once this happened, albeit through the vehicle of a screaming match, their relationship was affirmed. The next morning, the son approached the father for advice about life. Never had this happened before. The father had bestowed masculinity onto his son. He was the only one that could do it. Once that happened, a young man was released. He was now able to pursue adventure, and the beauty.

          I wanted to rewind this moment again and again to see the connection point for dad and son. Dads are important. Real men who stand in the gap are needed. We don't need safety, we don't need the sure thing, we need men who will take the risk for the heart of his family and for his own heart. That's what I feel Benjamin Mee did for his family. Huge risk, huge payoff. God challenges us to push beyond what we know until we reach the unknown, and then trust God for what happens next.

ADAM AND LILY TREST

          I didn't get an actual picture, but if you saw something similar this evening near Pinehurst Park, then you know what I am talking about. It was strange. One of the strangest things I have ever seen in my life. It looked like an oil spill in the sky. Or more appropriately, it looked like some of Adam's paints had been poured out. These are iridescent clouds and are a pretty uncommon occurrence. I am not exactly sure what it meant, but it felt as though this day, and their marriage was blessed. Take that how you will and let it rest where you think it should, but two special people got married today. Two people who are their own, who love God, and came together to share in the journey.
          The pastor began the ceremony talking about Adam and Lily, how they are entering into their own fairy tale and the pages are blank. How their two separate stories end and as one they begin a new story together. He gave them an empty moleskine notebook to write or illustrate their own fairy tale. They will begin a new story today that will continue throughout their time together here on earth. Anytime I attend a wedding I think about God's idea of marriage, my marriage, and if I will get any cake at the reception.
          I guess I will make mention of the Chick-Fil-A situation that has been in the news lately. The company holds to marriage as one man one woman, as stated in the Bible. We are allowed freedom of speech and freedom of expression, the last time I checked. As to whether or not they make a claim to hate gay people, I am unsure. If that's the case then they are wrong, dead wrong. I was shocked to hear of a small church that gave grief to a black couple and would not allow them to get married in their church. What? Confused. That's just backwoods ignorance. One thing I am not confused about; God's definition of marriage.
          Next on the list is my marriage. Many things run through my mind; current state of our union, our wedding, anniversary, and the list goes on. Weddings challenge me, to be honest. I don't want to have a lifeless marriage, I want to know who my wife is, what she needs, and be able to help her when she hurts. That is all a part of being a husband. There are some definite challenges to marriage, but knowing your spouse on that intimate level adds a depth that nothing in this world can imitate or replace. God calls those who are married to much more than just bearing living together.
          Today I was witness to two great people getting married. The ceremony was special, sweet, and intimate. The reception was full of joy, great food, and great cake. And now I am home with my son and wife on the couch, hoping and praying for Mr. and Mrs. Adam Trest as they begin the journey, the fairy tale, and begin filling the pages of their lives together. Congratulations and God bless Adam and Lily!