THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM

          The title for this post is misleading. I am not talking about a bad time in my life, but actually a good one. This was the only phrase that I could think of that could somewhat accurately grasp what is happening in my life right now. Since May, I have technically been out of a job. My contract went through the summer, but the end goal was a new teaching position for the 2012-2013 school year. All summer I would dress to the nines, go to meet principals, talk to secretaries, fill out applications, and ask everyone I knew, "Do you know of anything?".
          Those who are familiar with the job hunt know the routine. For roughly 3 months, this has been a central part of my life. When the central part of your life is filled with disappointments, it's really hard to stay positive, trust God, and hope for the best. 
          I began to realize this about 3 weeks ago. I had gotten to a point of despair, feeling dragged around by job possibilities and responsibilities as a husband and a father. I really felt like the man that is tossed by every wind and wave of indecision. So, I did the only thing I knew; I picked a book of the Bible, a book off my shelf, and began to go through a time of devotion and study.
          Nehemiah was the book of the Bible I chose, and Wild at Heart by John Eldredge, was the book off my shelf. I wasn't prepared for what happened. I wasn't quite ready for the truths that God was revealing to me through both works. A peace that Paul talks about in Philippians began to take me over and I no longer worried about jobs and money. Read what Paul writes below:

           Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

(Philippians 4:4-7 ESV)

          Rejoice in the Lord, first and foremost. Why? Because He is taking care of it. As you stress and worry, he is weaving and working His plan out in your life. Just submit to that idea. The time I spent (and am still spending) in study and devotion have really focused my mind towards God and away from the stresses and worries of life.

          I'm not a believer in mysticism or magic words, but when you are obedient to God, things happen. The job situation I stressed about all summer? It is now resolved, not in my own idea or way, but in God's way and His time. I cannot put into words how these things came about except that God has orchestrated it all according to His plan. We are the ones making it difficult on ourselves. 

         

Crazy, Stupid Love

          Tonight, Sara and I watched Crazy, Stupid Love. A really good movie. Not to be watched around the kids, but a good movie nonetheless. The whole plot revolves around a marriage in trouble. Without giving away too many details, I want to explore one theme that ran throughout the whole movie.
          In our culture, 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. This is tragic. Coming from a biblical perspective of marriage being a lifetime commitment between a man and a woman before God, there is something amiss that our country, with In God We Trust as our motto, has such a high statistic. Other countries see marriage as a contract, as a commitment, that both partners commit to for life. This doesn't necessarily mean love, but their divorce rates are lower. When we look at love as an abstract, arbitrary thing that is fleeting, then we lose the bid idea.
          The main theme found in Crazy, Stupid Love was that true love, soul mates, are worth fighting for. That you never stop fighting for your soulmate. The main character got to a point in his life where he no longer fought for the love of his wife. Many guys see marriage as the kill shot and then the hunt is over.
          I say nay, nay, the hunt has just begun. Love is a commitment, and sometimes you don't feel the huggy, lovey, butterfly moments. In the movie, the male lead addressed his wife to a crowd. He said he loved her when they first met, when they had their first child; he loved her when he HATED her, and he would love her even if it didn't work out. He professed a working definition of the love that we should have in marriage.
          I love my wife. She is a wonderful woman who loves her family and for some reason, loves me. But there are times, very few times, when our attitudes clash or we catch one another in the wrong moment. Am I feeling the same feelings that I had when we were first dating? Probably not. But my commitment to God to preserve and nurture our marriage is stronger than a fickle, fleeting emotion brought on by circumstances.
          *If your relationships fail, if your marriage sucks, then you need to take a step back and examine yourself first. I always default to this action; look at myself in a mirror first to shed light on what my problems are. I can't really ask my spouse to change if I am in sin.
          Marriage and relationships make sense according to how God ordained them to be. When God is removed as the establisher and initiator, those types of relationships become fluid and feeble. Crazy, Stupid Love had a good idea with saying that your true love is worth fighting for, but make sure you understand exactly what you are fighting for.
          Take a moment to read Song of Songs and Ephesians 5:22-33. There are some great things to inspire and instruct about relationships and marriage.

I HAD TO LISTEN WELL

          Do you see this? This is a lot of money saved. Monday morning, Sara and I were getting ready for the day. She was brushing her teeth and I was getting Ben dressed, when the water abruptly turned off. I assumed the city was working on the line somewhere. It happens. We finished getting dressed, went downstairs, and had a city worker knock on my door. Scared the daylights out of Sara because no one just comes up to the house. Once I opened the door, he informed me that I had a leak and that I had to get it fixed by a plumber before the city would turn my water back on. 

          Did I mention that at 2 I had a job interview? Getting ready for the day  meant wearing my good clothes. You know, what most people refer to as Sunday clothes. So, I first called the city of Laurel to make sure I didn't have to have a licensed plumber to do the repair. Check. Then, I got some old clothes on, one of Ben's blue sand pails with a pink shovel, and proceeded to the meter to discover where my leak was. Check. 

         The leak really wasn't that bad, so all in all the repair cost about $30. A while back, someone told me that a plumber's going rate was about $40 an hour. An hour? I could not have done that at all. There is someone I can thank for sharing with me how to fix things, and that is my father. Philip Leslie Anderson Sr. spent many hours teaching me how to hang sheetrock, paint walls, weld, build, plant, harvest, plumb, construct, and for that I am grateful.

          There is a going trend for young people (20s and below) to ignore and even refute the wisdom and teachings of those older than them. It may not be intentional, but surely prideful. Stroll through Proverbs and you will see verses such as, "Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old." Also, "He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm." 

          I have been guilty of this myself. "Why are they telling me what to do? What right is it of theirs to give me advice? They are just old and dumb. Things are different now." The sad thing is, when I reflect back on the situation, they are right. Would we be ahead as a society if we took what the generation before knew and applied it? If we learned from their mistakes? If we learned from their successes? Israel never seemed to get this. Wandering for 40 years in the wilderness was a result of indiscretions made by the older generation. Did the younger generation learn? Nope. Not long after Joshua became leader, Achan stole things devoted to God. 

          Scripture speaks of listening to wisdom, of seeking wise counsel, and I feel that sometimes people the same age as me just cannot offer the wisdom of the ages. Sometimes, I need to go to someone older and wiser than me. Sometimes I need to push down my pride (because I graduated and went to college) and listen to those who have learned, not from a book, but from life. Those are the answers we seek, those are the questions we long to have answered.

          So, find an older person, dad, mom, neighbor, grandpa, great aunt, uncle, professor, deacon, regular at the coffee shop, and sit down with them. You would be amazed at some of the places they have been, some of the things they have seen, and some of the wisdom they can impart. 

          

SUIT UP: HE CALLED ME MICKEY MOUSE

      
The reason Neil Patrick Harris is here is because he plays a character on How I Met Your Mother who enjoys playing laser tag. Barney Stinson says to suit up, and even wears a suit while playing laser tag. That being my lead-in today, here we go.   
         Today was one of those days in which a deep part of my character was revealed; I don't like being picked on or at. I'm 24, almost 25, and this is still a problem? Yes, and it gets worse. Much worse I am afraid.
          Sara decided that we should play Space Tag in Ellisville with her brother and our niece and nephew. In addition to them, there was also a birthday party there to join in with. And there was a little boy in a Star Wars costume, just by himself. Once it was our time to play, we all gathered in the debriefing room for an employee to give us a break down of the rules. About mid-way through, Star Wars kid yells, "We've already heard this." I immediately follow with a shhh and decide I don't like this kid. He is loud and needs to know his role.
          Once the lady finished explaining the rules, we chose sides and fortunately, Star Wars kid was on the opposite team. We were led into the next room to get our vests and guns, and I was on the blue team. When I walked in, I grabbed the nearest vest and put it on. Star Wars kid singles me out. "You're going down." he says. "I doubt it," I shoot back. He then grabs my gun, twists it to where he can see it, and says, "Haha, you're Mickey Mouse." My target was selected. Star Wars kid was singled out. Needless to say my gameplay had a rather tunnel vision feel to it. Where was the Star Wars kid, how many times have I shot him, how many times has he shot me? At the end of the round, I felt I had accomplished alot.
          When I think back to this kid that grated on my nerves, I realize that I could have responded better. Maybe he didn't have a great home life and acted out for attention. Maybe he lacked friends and was trying to force a friendship, maybe he just wanted someone to notice him. But instead, I quickly became irritated and put up a shallow wall of sarcasm that kept me from potentially sharing the gospel with this kid.
          This made me reflect on my time at Mount Olive. Many of my kids were behavior problems and most times I would shut them out before they had a chance to even get started. It's really easy to talk to the people who are enjoyable to talk to, but it's really difficult when the person is a challenge:

“If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.

(Luke 6:32-36 ESV)

          Ah! Why does Scripture hit us in the face like that? We don't get a pass on our enemies, or the people we don't like. It's just not there. Do you think Jesus liked some of the people he was around? Maybe not, but he did treat them right. He did give them attention and address their needs.

          Whew, we are called to a great thing. Many do not understand this, but it's not easy to practice what Jesus did. It's easy to say it, but not to practice it. I hope for the people who hate their enemies and seek wrongdoing on those who offend them, that they would allow the truth of the Word to penetrate their hearts and be convicted about the ways they are acting. 

          So, Star Wars kid. I could have really impacted his life, instead I only focused on impacting my laser beam into his vest. We are called to something higher than ourselves, to put away selfishness for selflessness. Christ lived the example, we've got to simply take it seriously. 

AS FOR ME AND MY HOUSE

        
          If you have seen this picture, it was and probably still is, hanging somewhere in your nana's house. The cross-stitching may or may not have been better than this, but the focal point was always the last portion of Joshua 24:15.
         
          I was recently reading through the book of Joshua, thinking about his influence as a leader, and some of the other men and women that God used during that time. God was moving big for the purpose of fulfilling a promise he made to Abraham many years before. A promise to make his descendants as many as the stars in the sky and the sand in the desert, even when Abraham's wife was barren and old. It was a time during which Israel seemed unstoppable, their army tearing through all opposition. After many wars and conquests, Joshua led the people to the Promised Land that God promised them. Joshua apportioned the land to each tribe, and then gave his farewell speech.

          Joshua reminded the people of what God had done since His presence came down on the nation of Israel. How He chose Abram (Abraham) to be His man. How Jacob and his family were led into Egypt for so many years, eventually becoming slaves. How Moses led the enslaved nation out of bondage. How they crossed the Red Sea. How they defeated so many others. God's presence was big for Israel, yet Joshua still chose to say this.

                   “Now therefore fear the LORD and serve him in sincerity and in faithfulness. Put away the  gods that your fathers served beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the LORD. And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the LORD, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.”

(Joshua 24:14-15 ESV)

          We commonly only see that last snippet hung in frames over mantels and above doorways in houses. We commonly misunderstand the intent. Joshua was giving them an ultimatum: you either worship the gods of the river that your fathers worshiped, or you worship Jehovah God. There was no debating, no critical thinking, just people deciding who they would follow. Some people do not see this so easily. It's not simply a matter of God or Satan. Today, it's typically God or Science, God or Reason, God or Logic, God or Self. But I simply see it this way; will you serve God or Science, God or Reason, God or Logic, God or Self? 

          

          That is what it all boils down to. We wrestle with God like He is a being to be wrestled with. Does anyone remember God on the mountain in Exodus? Does anyone remember God in response to Job? Does anyone remember God's love come to Earth and handed over for execution? I'm not per se scared of God in a frightful boogie-monster way, but I fear God because I am small. I fear God because He is good, and I am not, and He has the right to enact justice on me. I love God because I am small and He is big. I love God because He is good and I am not, and He does have the right to enact justice on me. Yet through Jesus I avoid what I have deserved. Grace...

         

          "As for me and my house" is not a bumper sticker term for me. It's the understanding that I choose God over all the other gods of this earth. I serve Him because He is worthy of being served. That is all. Let it be.

PRIDE IS BIG

I've always heard that "pride goeth before the fall". In college, a professor corrected all of the wrongly taught Southern Baptist children and directed us to Proverbs 16:18, "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall." Falling and destruction are a little different I do believe. Ironically, he was being prideful about his knowledge of this bit of Scripture. It seems funny to me that when pride rises up in a person, they very rarely see it as such.
          I need to share a story about two people, but I will respect their privacy and rename them. My story is about Billy and Jeff. These two guys have known each other for a long time, and really understand each other. So, Jeff decided he wanted to get a different job. This job would take him halfway around the world, away from his family, friends, and any known environment he had ever been in. Billy, his friend, told him that he might get homesick and regret this decision. Jeff decided Billy was a butthead and went anyway. Two weeks later, Jeff got a job putting in vending machines. He doesn't talk to Billy anymore.
          What's the moral of this story? Billy was speaking truth to Jeff, but Jeff didn't want to hear it. So, he did what he wanted to anyway, haughty spirit before a fall, and wound up in a different place, not talking to his friend anymore. Why? Because his pride was hurt. His buddy was right and he hated it. Instead of admitting Billy was right, Jeff hardened his heart and ignored him.
          Pride can be a very ugly thing because it deals with how we view our selves. If anything directly affects us personally, then pride steps in to challenge and set self as the king on the throne. Jeff felt like Billy questioned his manliness by saying he couldn't handle the new job. Billy was just trying to give his friend some good advice. Care must be taken when dealing with pride. Pride raises you up above everything else: it could be in relation to your intellect, work ethic, clean record, or notoriety. Regardless, God never intended for you or I to be the center of attention. We are not in the spotlight, but are rather the clowns that everyone laughs at because they are silly and foolish.
          Humility is hard. If God has granted you a natural physical talent; singing, dancing, athletics, academics, or arts, then it is easy to ride the wave of self and raise yourself above others. It is much harder to lay that aside and allow others to use their gifts. But, we are daily called to die to the flesh, deny ourselves, and follow Christ.
          We play with Scripture like a child plays with matches. Intrigued by its flame, but really unaware of the power that lies within. Where the analogy breaks down is flames cause destruction that devastates, while Scripture causes destruction that restores.

GO TIL IT HURTS

          Do you see the blue guy in this picture? The one playing catcher. That is my nephew, Jackson Earl Fortenberry. Saturday, Sara, myself, and Ben traveled to McComb, MS to watch him play. Can I tell you that after going to Atlanta for 4 days I really did not want to go across Mississippi? Least of all for a baseball game. Now, before I draw fire from anyone, let me explain.

          There are things that we begrudgingly do. It may be visiting a mean uncle, or going to all of your little cousin's games and recitals, or hanging out with people that aren't your closest friends. Some people enjoy these things, granted, but for argument sake, this is the list. From an overall perspective, it is very easy to turn  away from these things and just have a bad attitude (which I am guilty of). But when I look closer at the situation, especially my nephew Jackson's ballgame, I realize that, like most things, it's not about me or how I feel. 

          Earlier that week, Jackson's dad, my brother-in-law, had to be admitted to the hospital. He stayed in the hospital for several days and was actually in the hospital at the time of this game. What Jackson needed most then was for people from his family to be there to support him. His grandmother and grandfather were there, along with his sister, and cousin, and 2 aunts and uncles. This helped him "keep his chin up" to play his best during the game, because whether we admit it or not, we look for the approval and watchful eye of others. Ultimately, our approval should be derived from God, not man, but I don't think an "atta boy" every now and again is bad.

          I think about Paul in writing to the church at Thessalonica, he wasn't able to be there at the time, so he sent Timothy on to give them a letter and see how they were doing. Timothy may not have been the exact person they wanted to see, but Paul's letter of admonition and encouragement probably lifted their spirits a good deal. 

          So, when you have to attend that event, visit that person, or do anything that you might not be super hyped about, think not of yourself, but think of others. Philippians 2:3-4 speaks of thinking about others, what they are going through, what they might need, and that Jesus Himself had this mindset, especially when He went to the cross on our behalf. 

"Do  nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves, and look out not for your own personal interests, but also the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourself which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although he existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bondservant, being made in the likeness of man. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross."

          Jesus set the ultimate example by putting his own interests aside and following through with God's plan. For Him it meant death on a cross, for us it could mean being supportive, showing up, talking to others, changing our plans. I definitely think we got the easy end of the deal. Be there for others, you just don't know how much they  might need it.

IT'S NOT A TRIP UNTIL SOMEONE GETS ARRESTED

          Today was our last day in Atlanta, and wow was it packed. We went to White Water Atlanta, The Varsity, and to see the new Spiderman movie. Full day, I would say so. There was a small bump in the road that occured in the morning at White Water Atlanta, that potentially could have derailed the entire day.
          Earlier, before we left the hotel, Ryan had us all turn to John 13 and read the account of Jesus washing the disciples' feet. (There was something I observed while reading this passage this morning. Jesus was about to return to God, sit at His right hand in glory, yet he chose to spend some of His final hours on Earth serving and washing other's feet. He also said this was an example for his disciples to follow and they were not above any type of service. If the High King of Heaven stooped down and washed feet, then I can surely find some people to serve). 
           He asked us to think about ways we could serve today, or to find someone to serve. A couple of youth said they could serve by helping around at the water park when people needed it. Good responses. Because we had a few students to back out of the trip, there were 4 extra tickets to the water park. Ryan figured this would be an awesome way to bless a family.
          When we got to the park, we were all hyped up about giving the tickets away, and riding the water slides. Before you can enter the park, there are two security guards posted to check bags. So, we thought to catch a family before they entered. Our first few attempts were unsuccessful because alot of people had season passes or had already purchased their tickets. Trying not to get bummed out, we tried harder. After several minutes, there was a family who accepted our offer of FREE water park tickets, when all of a sudden, one of the security guards came up to us.
"Sir, this is illegal, this is scalping. I have called my supervisor and your group needs to wait right here."

"Ma'am, we are a church group who has too many tickets. We are just trying to give them away."

"It doesn't matter, that is scalping and it is against the law. Just wait right here."

Uhhhhhhhh. So we waited. Sara broke out her phone and looked for the legal definition of scalping, while I searched the tickets we had. 1000 dollar fine and up to 90 days in jail, great youth trip CrossPointe. But, only the resale of tickets is considered scalping. After about ten minutes of calming my wife and Ryan, the supervisor came out to speak with the security guard. The supervisor quickly told the security guard that they were our tickets and as long as we didn't trade money for them, we could do as we wish. Wow, glad to know that.
          Once this was settled, we found a different nice family to give the tickets to, (they made the other family go into the park), and we had a fine day. All of that to say this; serving, being nice, being kind, can sometimes run you into awkward and frustrating situations. But it's what we are called to do. If serving was convenient or easy, everyone would do it. But it's not. Jesus calls us to look past overzealous security guards to a family that needed a blessing. Maybe they didn't think too much about it, but maybe they did. That simple, "We want to bless you today with these tickets, have a great day, God bless." may mean something to them.
          In one of the lines for a ride, Lindsay T and Summer D. suggested we play a game. At first I was hesitant. These people are going to take us for fools. Once we started playing, there was no longer a concern for that, but many people did enjoy watching us play and laugh. At one point, Ryan and Charles were playing Bullfrog (a little girl's game) in the line for the ride. I think that could be a service as well. To bring laughter and joy to places and people that may not have any, or just might need some. 
          Rolling up your sleeves and getting your hands dirty is definitely service, but sometimes spreading joy is a great service too. Try it sometime, brighten someone's day, sing a joyful song, make a joyful noise.
          I have enjoyed my time in Atlanta with CrossPointe youth, there are some great young people here and we are blessed to have them. I count it an honor to serve this group and this church.

KID IN PLAY

          What have we as adults accomplished in our 20, 30, 40, 50, years of life? We have learned how to walk properly, some of us to talk properly, take general care of ourselves, how to work, how to pay bills, how to drive, and how to put on a face that lets people know we are busy and don't want to talk. 

          Yesterday, we were in Perimeter mall letting the kids shop for a little while. I was sitting at lunch just watching people as they passed. Most were in a hurry obviously, it was lunch time. But I looked at their faces. None of them seemed happy, all of them NEEDED to go as fast as they could and not stop til they got there. 

          I realized something then, adults have forgotten how to play. All of the movies and stories about kids losing the magic and imagination of childhood once they grow up is true. In The Last Battle, Susan has "grown up" and no longer believes in Narnia but treats it as childhood games and made up stories. I hate this. From the bottom of my heart, I hate this. So, I did what anyone who feared they had grown up would do.

          There was an interactive display that projected onto the floor from the ceiling. The mat the projection was on was broken up into grids. When you stepped onto the display, your movements changed the projection, allowing you to basically control the display. And it was there that I just played for a little bit. Moving my arms and body to make the water ripple, or the flowers bloom, or the picture change. 

          Did I accomplish much? Not really. Did I prove a point? Probably not. 

          But I did show myself that I haven't quite grown up yet. 

          Some parents need to grow down. Get down in the floor with your child. They will learn more, I promise. Children are the greatest mimics and mirrors in this world. Showing them how to play and how to have fun will really help them, I promise.

MAKE YOUR NEXT MOVE

          In the middle of Woodruff Park there is a small patch of grass that tonight was occupied by a small group of people. Although it didn't look like it, there were big things going on tonight. Earlier, we came across a giant chess board, as seen above. There were also several other games going on off to the side. Apparently chess is a hot game in Atlanta. We continued walking, looking for a place to hang out and get something to drink. 

          As we were waiting for some of the group to come back, several of us were approached by a homeless lady. Ayisha Patrice Lovette. She was charismatic, energetic, funny, and entertaining. By the time it was all over, we had heard her story. She was in need of help for her family. This is a common thing in Atlanta, and we were prepared to help as need be. 

          But John was not satisfied with simply handing out money or food to homeless people and going on about our business. Ministry can sometimes become like a social exchange; as meaningless and fruitless as the exchange between a clerk and a customer. So we spent the next 20 minutes talking with Ayisha about her life, about how the streets work in Atlanta, and about how God can really change her life. After, we prayed for her and went on our separate ways. 

          Once this was over, we all gathered in a small patch of grass in Woodruff Park and began to talk about what was going on in our lives; as related to the youth group and personally. There were a great many things brought to light that were necessary.

          One thing that Ayisha kept telling us was to take care of our family. In the moment, she was speaking to John's kids, but later the context changed to mean that of the youth group at CrossPointe. And I think this also applies to the church body as a whole. We are meant to deal with things, not make excuses, and search for healing from hurt so that whatever function we may be serving in will be to its highest potential.

          Even though this is just our first night in Atlanta, I am so excited at what God is doing already. What could the next move of CrossPointe youth be? Where can we go from here? Where or what is God leading our youth to do? This week, please pray for God to move in mighty ways within our youth group. May He touch hearts and lives so that those returning will, "do justly, love mercy, and walk humbly." Micah 6:8.

      Above is a picture of Ayisha Patrice Lovette. We only met one person tonight on the streets, but the experience from tonight will resound in the hearts of our youth for a long time to come. 

          

ONE OF THE HARDEST THINGS A PARENT CAN DO

          The above picture was taken when Ben was first born. There were alot of emotions that I did not understand at the time, and many others I will not understand for longer still. Featured in the picture is my father, Philip Anderson Sr. My brother is the junior, not me. On that day, I didn't know what being a father meant. My dad helped raise 3 boys, so he kinda understood a little about how it worked. 

          That being said, tomorrow me and Sara leave for Atlanta with some of the youth from CrossPointe. We are going for street and food mission ministry, and also see a Braves game and go to a water park. I am pumped. More pumped than I have been in a long time about anything actually. This is an opportunity for me to really engage with some of the younger people in church. Here's the crux. We are leaving Ben behind. This is for several reasons: we don't want our attention drawn away from the work of ministry, from the students who need our attention, and in public my son can be a handful; albeit a cute handful, but a handful nontheless. 

          Tomorrow morning there will be weeping, and I don't mean cute weeping. We love that kid and he loves us. It's going to be tough to part for 4 days. Non-parents won't get this, and I really didn't until it was time to go through with it. Being separated from your child is hard. Whether it's a willful separation or not, distance causes an ache in the heart.

          I thought about God when I began to process leaving Ben at home. God is my heavenly father. Since birth, I have been separated from Him because of sin. 

          For 13 years I was away from my Father... I'm going to be away for 4 days from Ben and it stresses me out. For 13 years my Father in heaven has been waiting on me to come home. In the prodigal son, the dad wasn't sitting at the kitchen table rubbing his palms together saying, "Yeah, that old sorry son of mine will come crawling back here one day." He was anticipating his son's return, waiting at the porch, searching the horizon for a glimpse of a familiar face, or the stride of his son's steps. God is often taken to be heartless, cruel, and cold towards us. Scripture doesn't show me that. Scripture shows me that God is eagerly awaiting our return to Him. He is the good father that misses His children and wants to be in communion with them.

          Tomorrow I am leaving my son behind in Laurel out of a desire to move in the direction God has called me to. It is tough, but I think about God who waits patiently for some to come to Him that may never. How heart wrenching is that thought? 

          If you are a believer, rest assured that your HEAVENLY father is good, that He loves you, and that like the father from Luke 15, he waited on us anticipating the day that we would return to Him. We say God loves you, but the love of the Father is absolutely above full comprehension. All we can do is receive His grace, obey His words, and live by faith. I think that's what any good father would hope from their son.